An anonymous leak from within the Apple corporation has revealed details about the secretive electric car project known as “Project Titan.” Previously thought to have been a passenger-carrying vehicle, the car is actually a small solar-powered iPhone delivery vehicle that operates autonomously. It appears to have been designed and built by high school students in the Solar Rollers energy education program.
“Who wants their iPhone delivered by a stinky old diesel truck?” asked the source of the leak. “That’s basic. I mean it should be a meaningful event. Like it should show up in a rally car that does donuts around you while the driver high-fives you with one hand and presents the phone with the other” said the source while making wild arm gesticulations. “Only that wouldn’t be very safe or environmentally responsible. So we went solar electric, which is hellasweet.”
Far from being a Titan, the car is low and sleek at just four inches tall. It is covered in high-efficiency SunPower solar cells and built for speed from TenCate carbon fiber composites with a single Castle Creations brushless motor. It can operate continuously on power harvested from the sun and drive inside buildings using onboard energy storage. And it plays loud and constant electrothrash music to prevent pedestrian collisions.
The vehicle bears more than a passing resemblance to a Solar Roller, the solar-powered remote control cars which high school student teams design, build and race while learning about energy systems. The anonymous source refused to make any formal connection between the growing high school program and the Project Titan vehicle, saying only “It’s just the future, dude, coming right at you. With more future strapped on top.”
Apple CEO Tim Cook did not acknowledge the leak directly, but was heard muttering, “these blasted high school kids can’t keep a secret now that they all have smartphones.”
Happy April Fool’s Day – Solar Rollers is a real high school energy education program with a real website at www.solarrollers.org. Check out the latest Solar Rollers video here.